darksaturn9

I stand in the slightly chilled lake, where the opening meets the trees (I can still see the path from here), under the uncluttered sky with only twinkling stars racing across the atmosphere my bare feet sinking into the soft mucky sand; as they sink I swish my toes. I stand with my arms open wide trying to hug the silence and contentment. With the small breeze flowing across the pond its water gently circling around my ankles pleasing my skin as it is focused via wind moonlight shinning upon me illuminating my outline in the dark surroundings shimmering its silvery beam off my white flowered gown creating a beacon of me in the

I can see you gazing in the mirror. The evil mirror that enticed you, that drew you to a bleak obsession And I want to screech "STOP" I love you! I love you! I LOVE YOU! You are my second mother,   No you are my real mother; the only one I remember My natural mother died at my birth; I was never forgiven. into my life you came at time when I was most vulnerable, most frightened I received hugs and kisses and the love that I wanted, I needed you made me feel required, that I was someone even though I wasn't born a boy, a son, an heir. until father gave you that mirror, I blame him and his odious mind, he gave you that mirror to dis

A little ball of fur you came to us, almost all black with bits of brown and white So small you could fit into my thirteen year old hand and still have room. A mischievous dog you were. Constantly bolting outside when you were young making us chase you till we were winded and tired and had to tricked you to come home but smart as you were you caught onto all the tricks of the trade and made us think Always getting into things; the fridge was your smorgasbord for when you were hungry so smart that you knew how to open it and feast, feast, feast. Tilting your head when we called your name you try to listen to what we had to say but you

These walls freak me out the same walls day in and day out. I sit alone pondering what my day is going to be what I am going to do who I am going to be. Bored out of my mind passing the time away till my boyfriend comes home from work. Watching TV, reading, being bored. Thinking on my situation. Frustrate at my situation Frustrate at myself for getting me into this situation. All have time to do is think. to feel sorry for myself. to worry about what is going to happen in my life day in and day out sitting on my gray couch staring at my walls going a little more insane every day. Will I be able to recover? When will be happ

No one was walking the beach today where I was observing life becoming colorless, colors swirling together in one big color mess. One big blob hazing through the sky while the rain hailed wetting everything outside washing away my footprints in the sand so no one could follow me, I was running away. From the troubles, from the pleasures. Everything was too overwhelming, too much to handle. I didn't want to feel anything, everything everyone wanted me to feel to be everything everyone wanted me to be which was why I was alone on that colorless day hoping no one would find me but I knew at some point someone would. For now I

I have a  hard decision to make. One that I have no clue which way I should go. Do I decide to preserve life or  do I take one? If I preserve, if I keep her alive then the quality of hers is living death. She will never be the same as she was before. If I chose death and let her die I'd feel the grim reaper swallowing me whole and knife where he stabbed my heart. But I would be keeping her alive mostly for me and not for her. How am I supposed to choose? each conclusion is breaking my heart, life or death, I cry in jagged spurts and my vision blurs I have to pull over my car and weep until snivels takeover. My world will not be

I sit in the dark lonely tower picking at the lint and strings on my gray shabby dress Waiting, for the inbred idiots of the royal court to screw up life up, which I know will be soon. I lift my head as I hear the sword of the guard rattling against him as he climbs the stone stairs. I look at him with worn eyes; he jadedly nods. I must follow him to the Great Hall and do my trade or else I will be pitched out. I am the one everyone yells at when the Royals do dumb things. In Great Hall and I stand before these people, listening as Dames cry, Counts bellow, Cooks yelp, everyone lays their woes on me. They take their turn to de-st

I watch this beautiful boy; starless night hair, pale moon skin, small button nose, pink open lips, mud eyes that are hidden by sleep. I sigh at this cherished sight. Only seen when he sleeps. He is my charge, I am his keeper, in daylight, in nightlight. How quiet he looks now, how innocent. Something I wish he would always be. Safely tucked under Sesame Street peacefully taking in small long breathes, looking the part of a good little boy; an angelic creature. A part he never plays. Always keeping me on my toes in day; a mischievous creature he is, but inactive in night as he quietly dreams of the day spent. This is when I

I forgive you. for the names you have called me, for the pain you have caused me, for the stress and anxiety I faced because of you. I stopped holding the long and painful grudge inside. The things you have done in the past are sand in the wind; blown away in the passing of time. My wounds have healed and the scars fade to the point where naked eye can't see them. What you did was wrong, mournful and knife stabbing wrongs. Life for me was drowning in a lake and you were the one holding the life preserver, having the power whether I live or die. But the misery doesn't have power over me. (I am no longer drowning.) You don't ha

I am one of the forgotten ones the ones who are put on a mantelpiece to gather dust, the ones who are misplaced in the jumbled thoughts of some busy body, mislaid behind soccer practice and the need to buy milk. I am the one that everyone never tries to remember the lost thought in a crowd full of scattered memories with me ranking at the bottom of important things. My voice vanished in the blaring music that inhibits your thoughts. I will sit on the steps and wait for a ride that was promised to me for hours. The clock ticks down and no one comes   I find my own ride home; one foot in front of the other I walk into the night wit